Jeff In Real Life

Suckers

Hello Blogging Community.

My name is Jeff Manning.  And yes, I'm a pathetically inconsistent blogger.  By my own admission, I'm on the road to recovery.  Thank you for your patience.

Just got in a little while ago from my first Christmas party.  It was a great time at my brother's house.  Their was lots of food, laughs, and gift-giving to go around.  It's always awesome when you make your mom cry about a gift ;)  People were getting excited and much appreciation was shown EVEN though we were having a "Chinese Christmas".  I walked away with movie tickets ("Day the Earth Stood Still", here I come!).  My boys, as well as every other 6 year old in the nation, get pretty pumped.  They will let you know what they want and Santa does his best to make this happen when possible.  Bunk Beds and Batman were their request.  Because of God's blessing, we are making it happen for them.

My little girl on the other hand is another story.  Carrigan is almost 2.  She's just getting this year what presents are about, who Santa Clause (Tana Clause as she says it), and OH HOW SHE LOVES THE LIGHTS.  One of my highlights is when I began to try to get her to like Santa.  Initially, she was freaked completely out by him.  Now, she's just VERY cautious.  I let her know how "Santa Clause was coming to town".  She loves the Chipmunks rendition.  I even got her to watch Mariah Carey's version today on You-Tube.  To say the least, her 23 month old brain has a concept that Saint Nick is on his way.  When I ask her, "What is Santa Clause going to bring you?", she responds back, "SUCKERS!"

What?  Are you for real?  Are you kidding me?  They boys want BUNK BEDS $$$ and you want SUCKERS?

Such a simple request.  And for real folks, that's ALL she is asking for.  Anytime and every time you ask, it's "suckers".  She has a dum-dum fetish.  Loves them.  Adores them.  Almost on the verge of idol worship.  Just like my sons, I would get her the best gifts within my power.  I mean, I'm not Bill Gates or C.C. Sabathia, but I can do better than a bag of Lilla-pops!  But her innocence would be satisfied with the least of these. 

Oh, she'll have a very nice Christmas for a youngster that will NEVER remember Dec. 25th, 2008.  She has a bag of suckers ready to go into her stocking.  She has asked her dad, uh, I mean Santa, for something small.  She doesn't even have a clue that Santa can provide so much more.  But Santa loves her SO much, that he has made sure that the Elmo Kitchen, Elmo doll, and a Pink Recliner will be waiting under the tree. :)

What if just for a moment, I could be like Carrigan and quit asking God (out of selfish motives) for the big-ticket items.  What if I just started seeking FIRST the Kingdom of God?  He'll add all the other stuff He thinks I need.  What if in sincerity, I just began asking God for Suckers this upcoming year?  Dad, Your the provider.  Your the one that's always there to hug me, feed me, kiss me, wash me, hold me, and listen to me.  I don't want to ask for just STUFF.  I want to be like that child and just enjoy the simple things of life.  

I have a feeling there would be a lot more than what we could ask/think.  Not under a tree but because of a tree.

Dum-Dum,

jEFF m

 

Hey Blog-World,

I apologize for not doing this in a while.  I know you all have been on anti-depressants due to my lack of posts.  For that, I owe you a blog everyday for a year.  Never-mind, the last statement is untrue. :)

Everyone is in bed now.  Football game is on.  Mind is ticking though.

I've watched quite a bit of College Football today. Napped and ate in the middle of them all.  I have a nice cozy leather couch to relax in (though my black recliner is being delivered Wednesday).  Carrigan has been excited about family from Maine being at the house.  She's giving them some attention, but she can't pass up the opportunity to hop on the couch and watch some football with her old man.  In fact, she kept running into the Family Room all evening and jumping up on the couch with me.  Again and again and again.  I LOVE it!  I'd rub her hair.  Pat her on the back.  MAKE her give me kisses.  Hey, I'll take them anyway I can get them.  Once again I realized how truly blessed I am.  I have a wonderful wife, great kids, nice home, cool job.  I can't imagine not being here to see it. 

I know, your asking, "Jeff, where did that last statement come from?"  It's birthed from a documentary I watched a few days back that really disturbed me.  It was called "The Bridge".  Nutshell:  The Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco is the #1 suicide location in the world.  The director taped people walking the bridge for many months.  While taping, he was able to get live footage of folks jumping off the bridge to end their own life.  He then found the family and friends of the deceased to ask questions of "WHY DID THEY DO IT?"  I was amazed.  I had NO CLUE.  Truly, I was sick at my stomach when hearing the stories of what drove these men and women to suicide.  While they were pacing up and down the Golden Gate walkway deciding if life was worth living, hundreds of cars passed.  Other walkers strolled by completely unaware of what was happening. 

I've been down.  I've been depressed.  I've had times where I didn't know what was up or down.  Yet, I have never been so low that I really considered ending my own life.  I just don't comprehend it, yet my heart sank for these individuals.  I have SO much to live for.  These souls apparently didn't.

I promised myself once again not to become so consumed with my own life that I don't stop to consider others.  Everyday I and you pass by people who matter to Jesus.  Let that sink in.  EVERYONE matters to Jesus.  We don't know what goes on in the hearts of those around us whether they be in the classroom, the grocery store, or at the office.  Just one word.  Just one smile.  Just one touch.  Just one invitation.  It could be the difference.  

Time to get off the couch...

jEFF m

Kindergarten Blues...

A week of change around the Manning household.

It's been almost 6 years since we welcomed our litter of children to the fold.  We did EVERYTHING for them.  Feedings at all hours of the night.  Wal-Mart's stock rose because of our diaper purchases.  Runny noses.  Bruised knees.  Poison scares. (Yea, ask Echo on that one...lol)  Doctor visits.  Learning to walk.  Potty training.  Pacifier breaking was hellish.  Teaching ABC's.  Instilling the difference between right and wrong.  Echo and I DREAMING of their futures.  Talking about "the day they would start school".  It seemed SO FAR AWAY.

Not anymore.

Last Sunday was rough.  Early bedtime.  Fixing lunches.  Ironing clothes.  Me watching TV...I mean, me helping Echo anyway possible.  BOOM!  Alarm clock came early.  Showers for all.  Breakfast.  Teeth brushing.  Hair combing.  Lunch packing.  Backpack packing?   Prayer.  Into the van we go.  A LONG 7 minute ride to Harry McKillop Elementary.  Colten and Colin are pumped.  Eyes wide open.  They just looked adorable.  We walked with them, telling them how proud we are of them.  Reminding them to be good.  Reminding them to be good again. :)

Into Mrs. Dockery room they went.  Echo crying.  Me being "strong".  We release them for 7 hours.  I go stuff myself with a Patty Melt from IHOP to chase away the blues.  I NEVER eat breakfast.  We worry.  2:45 couldn't come soon enough.  They survived and so did we.

Within the WEEK, they all of a sudden need us no longer.  They are eating lunch in the cafeteria.  They tell me EVERY morning how they are big boys and want to ride the bus.  They tell me they want to walk into the school ALL by themselves.  They are ALREADY talking about the 1st grade.  By God, I've done all this STUFF for you all along and now you want to grow up on me in a week.  How dare they!
They can actually do SOME stuff without Dad's help huh?  Sadly, they can and I HAVE to let them in order for them to mature properly, gain life experience, and learn responsibility. 

I KNOW, they are only 5.  But don't soon forget that "just yesterday", I was staring down baby formula and the mess it leaves behind.  Before we can figure it all out, they'll be walking across the High School and College graduation stage.   Careers.  Grandkids.  I'll be headed toward retirement.  GEEZ... "Tomorrow" comes so quickly.  That's why Echo and I have to make EVERY day count with our kids.  I want them to know beyond a shadow of doubt that we love them unconditionally.

Stay with me.  Some areas I've matured in my walk with Jesus.  Other spheres I'm extremely elementary.  There are some areas of my life the LORD has basically said, "Hey Jeff, your big enough to handle this one.  I've given you the training, my Spirit, and some real-life experiences to get you by."  Other realms, I get hand-walked all the way.  I THINK I'm ready, but Dad knows best.  He just keeps telling me how proud He is of me.  He assures me I'm gonna do great.  He proceeds to remind me to be good again and again.  Tricky thing sometimes this  going from infancy to adult. 

After all the clean-ups and teaching, one day I'll graduate.  "Well done good and faithful..."  And to think, the Ancient of Days doesn't even think about the retirement aspect. ;)

Father of Kindergartners,

jEFF m

Where's all the Crap?

My TypePad Com-padres,

Minutes ago, I returned from a long, but otherwise enjoyable evening at Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus, otherwise known as "The Greatest Show on Earth".  It really did bring back childhood memories for me.  My father and mother separated when I was 7.  Some of the best memories I have with my dad were when we went to the circus every year at Reunion Arena.  The venue has now changed (AA Center), but the fun and ridiculous costs are still the same.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, children of all ages...".  The live band starts, clowns go crazy, fireworks light up the arena, bicycles blast by, performers wave to the crowd, and best of all:  THE ANIMALS.  You gotta love em.  Horses, zebras, puppies (which by the way were Carrigan's favorite) just to name a few.  But the one's we all wait for from the time of two years to adulthood are the enormous elephants.  They are massive and should further the belief in a divine Creator.  How does just a "cosmic explosion" and "evolving" conjure up such a beast as this.  Only God is that cool.  Anyways. :)

I have a friend who took his son to the circus.  When departing the show the dad asked his son, "What was your favorite part of the circus?"  The response was Mastercard priceless.  "I liked it when the elephants pooped!"  We spend hard earned money on seats, gasoline, parking, (DART for me baby!), $12 for the worst snow cones in America, cotton candy, ignorant toys that will be broke by next week, (would you like me to continue?), and all they get is the poop.  Immaturity does have its downs.

Your laughing right now cause you know it's true.  I did when I was a boy.  Loved it all.  But when the elephants began their triumphant entry, and we began waving palm branches, I closely watched the little men BEHIND the elephant with dustpans.  While all the other pomp and circumstance occurred, I was staring at the buttocks of the beast.  When it happened, my day was made.  I looked forward to it every August.  Sick.  Sick.  Sick.

Isn't that about like us all from time to time?  God will be doing the unbelievable around us.  He will be restoring marriages, providing jobs, mending hurts, defeating illness, encouraging the depressed, and giving unmerited favor to all.  The GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH is in process and we are missing it! His creation are like fireworks.  My boys laughter is like music.  My church family are like the hustle and bustle moving around the arena, keeping my senses alive while providing good memory after good memory.  :)  And what do I often see?  You got it...the poop.  Sick.  Sick.  Sick. 

Tonight was vastly different.  I was SO focused on my kids and their enjoyment, Echo and I found ourselves watching them more than what was happening in the 3 rings below.  We would look into their eyes and just be amazed.  They clapped.  They laughed.  They asked for more stuff.  We said it over and over:  "God, their beautiful!"  When I focused on the kids I love without compromise and were certain they were enjoying themselves, I had no time to give attention to the stink that was SURELY happening.  For Pete's sake, their were 10 elephants in the room!  I have finally matured.  A little.

And you know, if we would consume our Christian walk with seeing other's enjoy "the show", give detail to what really matters, and making memories to last this lifetime, we wouldn't have time to focus on the crap.  We know it's there.  Pride, lust, greed, selfishness, (oops, I'll stop talking about myself now).

If we would watch with amazement, all of God's children would benefit.  The insignificant would quickly be swept away without incident.  Charity still covers a multitude of sins. 

Poop-less,

jEFF m

The DMV & Fed Ex

I need more patience.  I sometimes think I am.  I would at least like to think I am.  For Pete's sake (whatever the heck that means), I'm the father of 3.  Shouldn't I have somewhat of a grip on patience?  For the love of humanity, I'm a minister...shouldn't I have more restraint?  I THOUGHT I did.  I measured myself pretty high on the scale.  (That should have been my first sign...I was measuring myself).

All over a drivers license. My wife's license at that.  I officially am bitter with the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles.  They caused me heartache this week.  They gave me heartburn this week.  They made me think negative thoughts.  They caused me to say not nice things.  They made me consider Crack a viable option.  They and my new Direct TV caused me lack of sleep.   They.  They.  They.  

It was one of those times when a good sermon on, "Jeff, everything is in God's time.  The Lord has His purpose in all of this.  All things will work together for good..."  Woulda been nice.  Woulda  been helpful. Woulda been timely.  But instead, FedEx was silent.  Empty promises and empty packages.  That was my week.

Echo is headed out of town on a much needed vacation.  She's an unbelievable wife and mother.  Trust me when I say, I don't deserve her.  She's the definition of Grace in my life.  She needs her D.L. in order to make it past airport security.  This is her pass to get a week away from me and three amigos.  But the fact is, folks in Austin were making her promises and then not coming through on them.  She's getting stressed and so am I.  

"Oh, Mrs. Manning, your D.L. was made on July 1st.  We don't know why it hasn't been sent out.  We will reissue it but can't guarantee it will make it to your home by your needed time unless we send it to you FedEx.  Your bill.  We will have the reissued license in hand on Tuesday and have it to you by Wednesday" 

O.K.  We will do it.  Steep price to pay, but hey, she wants to go and I think she needs the  R & R.  

Wednesday comes.  Noon.  Doorbell.  FedEx package under door.  We are jubilant until we open the package.  Nothing but a welcome letter for opening a new account.  Honestly, I'm so glad I wasn't preaching that night, because the love of Jesus was not in my heart.  I call Fed Ex and find out that NO PACKAGE IS HEADED TO MY HOUSE.   The order never placed.  

More phone calls are made.  More cell minutes burnt while we sit on the eternal hold of the Texas DMV. They assure us they will redo the same process.  We doubt.  "It will be there by Friday Mrs. Manning." Echo now knows the folks by first name basis.  We get tracking numbers.  She calls more to make sure they have her D.L. in hand and have placed it in an overnight Fed Ex package.  When I leave the church on Thursday around 6:00 p.m., still no news from Fed Ex, just promises from DMV that the mission had been accomplished.  We make plans to get up at the butt-crack of dawn to drive to Austin to raise SHEOL/HADES/GEHENNA on Friday.  Patience is not my virtue.  It was not a Fruit of the Spirit I was growing well on my tree.

Luckily, the tracing number appeared on my Mac at 8:00 p.m. and my worries began to wane.  Only thing that could go wrong now was for Tom Hanks to land in Lake Lavon with our letter.  Luckily, her D.L. arrived around noon on Friday.  She's going on that trip.  When she passes through security, it will be through much hardship and testing of composure.  When she arrives in the Paradise of the Caribbean, it will be through much testing of patience.

I learned ANOTHER area of my life that I need VAST improvement.  Trials, troubles, and tribulations. Broken commitments.  Empty envelopes.  Arguments, I mean tense discussions.  Wasted funds.  Lost time.   Unwarranted stress.  All those things from the 2nd paragraph.  The trip to Paradise will be full of these.  I'll just have to be patient to get there and know that "All things work"....never mind. :)

Sorry for the Length Wilson,

jEFF m

I Hate Reading...

Hello Blogging World,

I have it figured out now why I hate to read so much.  I know I SHOULD read.  And I do.  But where as some folks (like my wife) just pick up a book and read it from cover to cover, it takes me a little longer to digest what the author is attempting to convey to me.  I have to put the book in certain places of the house in order to know I'll spend quality time reading. :)  Can the men say "Amen"?

Why I hate to read:

My kids won't let me do it in peace.

When they go to bed, I don't want to.

Everybody Loves Raymond is funnier.

It's time consuming.

It makes me think.

It challenges me to change my actions.

How's that for honesty?  Yet, over the past 6 weeks, I have completed two books.  Yes ladies and gentlemen, you read that last line right.  The man who has multiple personality disorders COMPLETED two books.  I'm even reading a never-ending third novel which has 66 different books.

FIRST BOOK:  "Simple Church" by Thomas Rainer.  I've had it all wrong all along.  In an overly complicated society, the last thing folks want are complicated weekends.  Rainer has the statistics and Biblical insight that shows the church is killing folks with business.  This rubs me the wrong way.  I always thought a packed calender meant we were doing something!  Programs equate to progress.  Not so says this book in which I despise.  I loathe.  I hate with a Godly hatred.

Slow down.  Do a few things with excellence instead of many things with mediocrity.  Gather together and do simple church.  Paul told the Corinthian church, "But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ."

But I love my statements, creeds, programs, and deep theological debates.  It just seems to make me seem smarter.  Yet, I could argue that Paul summed up his numerous letters to the Churches when he proclaimed, "For I determined not to know any thing among you save Jesus Christ, and him crucified".

Seems simple enough.  It's about Jesus.  

Pick up "Simple Church".  I'll tell you about the other book I hate when I blog again next year.  

Mr Anti-Reading,

jEFF m

  

Little Boy, Big God, Same Church...

Bloggers Anonymous,

It's Saturday morning.  I'm reflecting and recuperating after a week-long VBS.  5:30 alarm clocks (well, Echo got up then anyways), singing songs that require my 34 year old body to move odd parts, and the immense energy of LOTS of kids has once again made me wish I was in better shape. :)

I use to go to VBS as a little boy.  I'd go with Michael Yates to the Methodist one.  I'd go with Jamie Harris to the Baptist one.  We'd do crafts.  We'd sing songs in which my 8 year old body was accustomed to doing.  We'd memorize Bible verses.  You know, the typical VBS.  Something I distinctly remember though was that I was never overwhelmed by the Presence of God at any VBS as a kid.  It felt more like a church day care than a God encounter.  Lots of fun, but...  

Anytime I had experienced the Holy Spirit was at my home church: Abundant Life.  Yes, orange carpet, blue pews, and natural wood ALC.  It was in those classrooms and Worship Experiences that I had encountered Jesus.  The one that most stands out was on a Sunday evening.  Pastor Rigdon had preached.  I responded by kneeling on the left side of the Worship Center next to the pulpit island.   Tears flowed.  I FELT God.  I KNEW He was with me.  I LOVED what I felt.  I was 7.  A little boy and a big God.

This past week on Thursday, I had the opportunity to play Jesus in a skit.  Don't all of you start laughing at once!  (Maybe He could have been a balding red head.)  All I had to do was comfort folks when they came down the aisle and lead them to the cross.  "Come to Jesus" was the song the skit was set to.  The kid that was picked to run down the aisle and jump into Jesus' arms was my second-born son Colin.  He came running, hopped into my arms.  I hugged him.  I told him that I loved Him.  I took him to the cross.  (Folks, that will preach in itself!)  When I stood him up, he was wiping his eyes.  God was tugging at Colin's heart.  A time of prayer followed.  SO many kids were feeling what my boy was feeling.  Tears flowed.  He FELT God.  He KNEW God was with him.  He LOVED what he felt.  A little boy and a big God. 

Same building. Different decor.  5 feet difference in our first Spiritual encounters.  Thank you LifeKids of ALC for all the hard work.  You made an eternal difference in my family!

VBS Fan,

jEFF m    

In 11 Minutes...

Hello Blogging World,

It's 11:49 p.m. as I start this blog.  In 11 minutes, June 19th will come storming into my life once again.  34 years old...GEEZ...

This IS NOT an invitation for all you folks who really didn't know it was my birthday to send me false, fake, or funny B-day wishes...keep them to yourselves! 

Again, my baby girl is showing me what really matters in life.  (I"m 8 minutes from June 19th now).

She jumped up on the bed yesterday at 8:32 precisely.  The NBA playoff game was on.  I was really pulling for the Celtics.  Not so much as that I'm a Celtic fan, but that I REALLY loathe the Lakers.  She has NO CLUE that the 6th and final game of the NBA season is taking place.  To her, she just wanted dad.  No time like the present.  She just hung out with me.  She laughed.  She squirmed.  She climbed all over me like I was the new playground in town.  All the while, my show is on.  I found myself really caring less and less about that game.  All that mattered was that one of the two most beautiful girls in the world wanted my attention.  Baby, you got it!  She wanted to stay on the bed with me until exactly 8:49.  That is 17 minutes that I can never replace.

And trust me, it was time well spent.  The Celtics championship will be talked about for a few days and then will be forgotten.  It will only appear in historical highlights.  By next week, baseball, football, and even the next NBA season will be the topic.  But you know, that time with my daughter was just heaven and will always be with me.  Not even the Cowboys (and thats saying A LOT) would detour me from the unconditional love Carrigan has for me.  That's God-like!

It's now 12:00 a.m....Happy B-Day to me.  Happy B-Day to me.  Happy B-Day dear Jeffery.  Happy B-Day to me. :)

Love you my friends!

jEFF m

The Change...

Dude, I'm I ever getting old.  I was in Chick-Fi-Let this past week.  The upcoming "Celebrate Freedom" concert held annually in Dallas is quickly approaching.  I knew 3 names on the whole ticket.  3.  Thats T. H. R. E. E.  3.  Thank God for Kirk Franklin, Jaci Valasquez, and David Crowder.  Otherwise, I'm sunk.

My days of Christian music consisted of Russ Taff (by the way which is coming in July), Steve Taylor, DC Talk, Amy Grant, Jon Gibson, Bryan Duncan, yada, yada, yada...like I said, I'm getting OLD!  In a nostalgic moment, I opened my CD case and inserted one of my 8 Steven Curtis Chapman CD's.  After his tragic loss over the past few weeks, I wanted to pray for him and once again be blessed by his unbelievable song writing.

One song hit me between the eyes:

Well I got myself a t shirt that says what I believe
I got letters on my bracelet to serve as my id
I got the necklace and the key chain
And almost everything a good christian needs yeah
I got the little Bible magnets on my refrigerator door
And a welcome mat to bless you before you walk across my floor
I got a jesus bumper sticker
And the outline of a fish stuck on my car
And even though this stuffs all well and good yeah
I cannot help but ask myself

What about the change
What about the difference
What about the grace
What about forgiveness
What about a life thats showing
Im undergoing the change yeah
Im undergoing the change

Well Ive got this way of thinking that comes so naturally
Where I believe the whole world is revolving around me
And I got this way of living that I have to die to every single day
cause if gods spirit lives inside of me yeah
Im gonna live life differently

Im gonna have the change
Im gonna have the difference
Im gonna have the grace
Im gonna have forgiveness
Im gonna live a life thats showing
Im undergoing the change

This is me right now.  I'm undergoing change.  After spending much of my life so concerned with outward showings of what I (or others) thought to be "Christian", God has really began dealing with me about my heart.  I'm really want to have the heart of Christ.  Loving others.  Forgiving others.  Being merciful towards others.  Really undergoing change that changes the world.

S.C.C...Thank you once again for bringing me back to the cross.  May God shine upon you during this time of loss.  

To all my friends and family...I love you!

Changing,

jEFF m

Carnality in the middle of the Night...

I've been "meaning" to blog for a week now. Between my in-laws being in town, entertaining, and traveling from Dan to Beersheba, I've just lost track! But in the midst of business, something amazing happened. I fell in love all over again with my baby girl.

It was last Monday night. Texas storms were hitting. Lightning. Thunder. I found out quickly that Carrigan doesn't take too well to Spring Thunderstorms. She let us know on more than one occasion she wasn't happy about it at all. She couldn't put it into complete sentences...soooooooooooo, she decided to enunciate with weeping and gnashing of teeth. At 3 a.m.

I was already laying on an air mattress. My out-laws (with much affection) were in my pillow-top queen mattress. It was storming. Echo was snoring. No she wasn't. That was a lie. Forgive me Lord. But what DID happen was Carrigan vocalizing her displeasure and knowing that I had to get up for a long day of meetings at the church. Usually Echo hears her first, gets up, and saves me. She was stricken with deafness though Carrigan was only a wall away. Up I got. Not happy. Sleepy. Dreams interrupted.

I walked into her room, picked her up and took her to the living room so she wouldn't wake Echo. We took our respective place on the couch which was not a great idea for it has full view of our back door and large windows. BOOM! FLASH! Pelting rain. Unhappy kid. 30 minutes go by of her uneasiness.

What she did next amazed me. She went from my chest and found a Pillow-top queen mattress on my belly. How comfy it must be. Carrigan then proceeded to take my hand and put it on her face so she wouldn't see the commotion going on outside. Within 5 minutes she was out! She had found comfort knowing Dad's hand was there to shield her. This weird feeling of love swept over me as I realized how much faith she had in her old man. My crankiness turned to knowing I'm the luckiest man alive.

Though I had no power to prevent the storm, my child had rest knowing Dad was there. How much more should I have comfort knowing that my Abba can stop storms? But when He allows the torrential downpour to continue, I have again found it refreshing to know I can lay in the bosom of my Dad, take His hand, and find rest. I'm know Christ feels the same about me. I just have to have faith in my old man.

Awaiting my next opportunity to comfort my girl,

jEFF m